Not in all fairy tales, the Prince gets the princess. In mine, my Prince turned into my Princess
Most fairy tales end with “they lived happily ever after.
I always wondered about “ever after”, so here is the story of “after”, not ever after, because life continues.
It does not happen overnight
A child always knows who he/she/(they) is/ are; it is our perception that makes them different.
From the time when a four-year-old vehemently refuses to go to a prestigious school because it’s an all-boys school, to the time an adolescent covers all the mirrors in the house because, “I don’t like what I see”.
The child has been trying to tell me for years, I was too blind to see. It is never a single moment; it is a journey culminating in our recognizing what was there in front of us.
Honesty is not a virtue, it’s a necessity
One day, one hour, one step at a time. I am going to make mistakes; I know. She will have to forgive me if I mispronounce her gender.
I will forgive her whenever she has a tantrum.
People who matter
It helps to be prepared for all kinds of reactions. Few people did show surprise when they met her, some mattered, others did not.
My cook started calling her “didi” when she returned from the hospital, post surgery.
And those who don’t
She may not want to meet certain people; she does not want to visit certain places. She has blocked out the pre-transition phase from her mind. There are times when I say, do you remember so and so, and she looks blank……But it’s okay.
I have started avoiding people who give negative vibes, she doesn’t communicate with old friends who may be judgmental. It’s almost like coloring your hair blue and then not video calling your grandparents because you don’t want to hurt them and you don’t want to hurt yourself either!
Old favorite haunts are no longer favorite
A whole chunk of life, she spent denying, is over. She does not need to revisit that pain.
I accept, even if I can’t always understand. I can be there with her, looking for new horizons.
She is at peace and happy, happier than she had been, ever since she realized, she was growing into a boy’s body.
Does she have any regrets?
Life stretches in front of her, beautiful and welcoming.
After all, not in all fairy tales, prince gets the princess. In mine, my prince turned into my princess.