My parents have been supportive so far and will completely accept me soon

One of the common topics of discussion in Indian family gatherings is about prospective marriage line ups/love affairs. This topic can be of extreme discomfort for a queer individual and one finds several ways to dodge the same. I had plans of pursuing Ph.D. and hence, I could avoid the discussion by stating the reason for further education. I was however, aware that the real reason had to be told at some point of time. It was personally not very easy to bring up my studies every time some aunt/uncle tried asking about my possible love affair. Most of my cousins were dating by then and it was quite natural that they would also ask me about it. The emotional pile up had reached its brim and I decided that I should tell at least to my parents. I took a month after reaching this stage to actually talk to them. It was the January month of 2015, I was 22, pursuing M.Sc. in Biophysics from Mumbai University. One fine Saturday when I was back from the university, I told them I wish to talk about something after dinner. They seemed very cool and said that they like that I share everything with them. They had been quite friendly as parents and openly discussed topics of social taboos. I was still unsure of their reaction upon hearing about me. After the dinner was done, my mom and dad came up to me and asked “What is it? Tell us frankly”. And that moment was the most relieving moment ever as I poured out my insecurity and fear of several years through tears and words. I simply told them that just as they are attracted to the opposite gender, I am attracted to the same gender. I didn’t use any labels and stated my feelings merely. It was obviously a sudden thing for them to hear. There was silence for a few seconds and my parents embraced me. At that very moment, my father said that he was fine with me not marrying a girl and my mother asked about any relationship with a guy. They simply expressed concern about me and my future life. Later, they took me for an ice cream treat and that was it. They were not completely fine at that moment but they heard me with patience. Coming out has been a constant process thereon. It has been 5 years and every family takes their time to completely accept different facets of a gay individual’s life. They have been supportive so far and will completely accept me soon.



-Aditya Narvekar